You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
