you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
