Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
