Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
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