WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
