Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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