do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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