In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
