You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
