i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
