so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
