You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I supernannyed him into submission
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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