It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
