get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
should my penis look like a turkey
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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