Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
