Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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