this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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