seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i now understand why vodka
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
