Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
and you fell through a lawn chair
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
