dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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