i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
