I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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