sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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