5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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