Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
