textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
