If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
