I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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