My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
