WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
