Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he puts the penis in happiness.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
