I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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