you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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