she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
