what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
