How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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