If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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