I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
