..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
