question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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