I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
