im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
