I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
