i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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