Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
