Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
