How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
