just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
