Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
