Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
