just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How does it feel to date your dad?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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