Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
