if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
