Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
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I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
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You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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