Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Congratulations! We have a period
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