oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize