what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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