That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize