I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
