Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't think brook has ever known best
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
