Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
wanna go halves on a baby?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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